Hi I'm
by SuicideSquadGirl13
Summary: The 5 times Doctor Victor Von Doom met Harley Quinn, and the one time he didn't really mind. Suicide Squad Verse! Crack fic!


**Ok, so is the first 5 times Doom and Harley met, and the one time they didn't really mind it. Enjoy!**

** *o*O*o***

**_1…_**

Doom sometimes really hated his new job. Ever since Sapphire made him an outer operative, his missions just got more and more ridiculous. Like now he was scaling a museum in France to take back files of botany from another universe that manage to end up here. Doom was so lost in thought he nearly forgot his footing at the edge, he caught himself before he plummet to his death…again. Doom really did hate heights, so at soon as he got to the glass roof, he sat caught his breath. Doom got back up and looked down into the area, no guards were walking through, So Doom opened one of the windows before he went into his backpack and got out some rope and attached the end to a bar before he lowered himself down almost spider like, before he soft touched down on the ground. Doom looked around and tried to remember where he was going, before he walked down one of the hallways. Doom wanders aimlessly for a moment before he saw the filing offices; Doom checked the door knob to find it locked, he really didn't want to break the lock but he really didn't want to look for a key, while he just stood there procrastinating, he didn't see a guard slowly creep behind him. The next thing Doom hear was a sharp crack of something behind smashed over his head, Doom turned around to find the guard had tried to knock him out with…a thin wooden…checker board. Doom would have laughed at his stupidity, if he wasn't too busy strangling him to the point where he could be unconscious. As soon as the guard was deposited on the floor, Doom searched him for keys which he found next to a giant sized Almond Joy. Doom looked at the man then at the Almond Joy bar, before he pocketed the Almond Joy bar and opened the door. Doom closed the door behind him and looked around; he remembers the file is under 39.867. Lucky for him the cabinets were labeled 1.000 through 500.000, Doom looked for 39.000 and when he found it the alarm went off alerting the other guards he was here, so he half sigh, half growl "Oh, to hell with it."

Doom then punched the cabinet and yanked it open before he quickly thumbed through the files and snatch it out of the cabinet, and ran towards the door in time to see a women with black and red dyed hair run pass him. Doom blinked to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, and he still saw her running towards the front door. Doom followed her, and then she froze seeing police at the door ready to storm in. She turned around and Doom yanked her out of sight into a hall.

"Are you crazy?" Doom said to her "You might as well called S.H.I.E.L.D while you were at it."

"I wasn't trying to get caught," She said to him.

Doom scoffed and said "Yeah right."

Then they both heard the door open and police officers storm the place, and this time it was the woman who dragged Doom behind an exhibit.

"This really isn't the time to argue or get acquainted," She said "We need a way out of here."

"Your right," Doom said looking around and looked down at what she was carrying.

"Is that a cork gun?" Doom asked.

"Yeah, why?" She said.

"Perfect," Doom said taking it and loading it with a gas bomb he had with him, before he stood up straight, aim and said "Hey! Heads up!" and fired a shot. The two heard people coughing and the woman grabbed his hand, and dragged him outside and said "Quick get into the car!"

"What car?" Doom asked.

Then the woman yanks off a black covering to reveal a black Mazda rx8, and Doom said "Oh! That car."

He got into the passenger side, as the woman started the engine and drove off. They were both laughing at this point and high fived each other and said "Yes!"

"You know this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," She said to him.

"I think your right," Doom said, before he pointed towards the Eiffel Tower "Just drop me off there."

"No problem," She said slowing to a stop at the sidewalk, Doom got and started to walk away when she honked the horn and said "Nice meeting you." Before speeding off. Doom had a smiled behind his mask when Sapphire came to get him, he was at least 40,000 feet in the air when he realized he never asked the girls name.

**_2…_**

Doom really wasn't in a good mood today, he had been on a simple mission which had now turned into a full on assault into an underground compound. Doom was so pissed that he had no problem killing everybody in sight, at one point he was in a narrow hallway with his back turn when someone bumped into him, he quickly spun around, pistol in hand when his eyes widen to who it was and he growled "You!"

"Well hello to you too," The woman that he met in France said pointing a glock to his head "Care to explain why you're here?"

"Only if you tell me what you're doing here," Doom said not lowering his hand.

She didn't say again thing for a while, but lowered her hand and said "I'm here to steal, you?"

"Same as you," Doom said lowering his hand "Steal."

She let a smirk grace her face, which had an unusual amount of make-up on it. Doom cocked his head to one-side and said "Let me guess you got caught up in the assault."

"Is it that oblivious?" She said putting her gun back in its holster on her hip.

"A little," Doom said, they the two heard an explosion and she said "I already got what I need, do you?"

"Yes and No," Doom said "I got what I came for, but I still need to torch the place."

She grinned and said "How do you feel about C-4?"

"As long as this place goes up like a mushroom, I'm ok with it," Doom said.

"C-4 it is," She said waving her hand dramatically, before she said "Come on I know where we can set it."

She and Doom when into the weapons room, and got all of the explosive they could carry and started attaching to the walls of the compound before they got out of there. When they were a safe distance away, the woman said "Make it rain." Before she clicks a button, and Doom saw a giant fiery mushroom go up in the sky before it turn black and dust settle down.

"Well, that was fun." She said looking at him.

"It kind of was," Doom said walking away, when he realized that his car was totaled and he couldn't leave, so he turned back around and said "Can you give me a lift."

"I got a motorcycle not too far from here," She said looking off into the distance "But I'm driving deal."

"Deal," Doom said following her.

Doom rode back with her until the reach a small town; she stopped and said "So nice seeing you again."

Doom got off and said "You too."

"Until next time Sweetheart," She said speeding off.

Doom was about to call Sapphire when he realized, he still didn't as the woman's name again.

**_3…_**

Doom was yet again, on another mission. At the moment he was lowering himself almost like a spider, he stop noticing a slight flicker of red light. Doom took out a canister filled with powder and shook some down and saw security lines. Doom then carefully maneuver himself around the lines before he unclipped the rope and started walking down the hallway. Doom stopped at one point know there was pressure sensors on the floor, He then did a back bend before he slowly and carefully did backflips towards a door. When Doom knew he was safe, he walked towards the door and opened it, and looked around for the control panel. Doom walked farther into the room and surveyed the all of the wires and lines until he found was he looking for. Doom got out his flash drive and uploaded a virus, to all of the severs; Doom waited until he heard people moving upstairs before he took the steps to the security room and took out his flash drive once again and started all of the digital files they had. Doom was sitting back watching the security feed, when he saw a familiar flash of black and red in a screen; Doom looked closer and saw the woman punch some guards lights out before looking around, and taking a hand pistol out and shooting the security camera. Doom nearly flinched, but he had gotten all of the information he need. Doom was leaving when he literally bumped into her…

"Oh hey," She said smiling "You again, huh?"

Doom rolled his eyes and said "You know my life keep getting stranger and stranger because of you."

She shrugged and said "I get that a lot."

The pair heard shouting in the distance and Doom said "Let's get out of here."

"Ok, but this time please tell me you have a car," She said.

"I do," Doom said running towards the exit "Why?"

"I crashed mine into the wall to get in here," She said here black lips curling into a smirk.

"Of course," Doom said rolling his eyes and got the rope and clipped it to his belt before he extended his hand and said "You coming?"

The woman rolled her eyes and said "Such a gentlemen." Before taking his hand and the two shot upwards to the roof.

"Well that was fun," The woman said letting go of Doom.

Doom was packing his things when she jumped on top of him and pushed him down.

"Hey!" Doom said "What are you doing?"

She put one finger to her lips telling him to be quiet, before slowly picking her head up. That's when the shots went off, and she screamed "Run!"

You didn't need to tell Doom twice, he took off keeping his head down. The woman was right beside him keeping up, when they reached the edge of the roof, the woman stopped and said "Shit, we're cornered."

Doom smirked under his mask and said "No, we're not." And he jumped of the roof and landed safely in the pilot seat of the jet that he 'barrowed' from Sapphire. Doom looked up and saw the woman hadn't jumped yet, she was looking wildly back and forth before she jumped and landed in the passenger seat.

"What took you so long?" Doom said starting the jet.

The woman smirked and said "My mother always said not to get in to cars with strange men."

"It's technically not a car," Doom said starting the engine.

The woman's eyes widen as they flew away, when they were a good distance in the air, she said "Ok, pretty neat."

"Thanks," Doom said clicking a few switches.

"Hey, where's the bathroom?" She asked.

"In the back," Doom said.

"Thanks," She said leaving the cabin.

Doom was waiting for her to come back, when a light flashed on the screen showing that one of the doors had been open. Doom quickly put the jet in autopilot, and rushed to find the woman gone again. Doom looked around to find a parachute missing and a note, Doom picked up the note which read…

_Thanks for the fun, hope to see you again soon. _

Doom smirked under the mask, and when back to cabin and mumbled "I'm an idiot."

**_4…_**

Doom really hated being captured; he was in a bad mood as it is already. Doom was just sitting in his cell, when he heard a familiar voice say "Well, hello there."

Doom snapped his head up to see the woman, sitting a few feet away from him. She looked like she had put quite a fight from the way her clothes looked, and then she said "How's it going pudding?"

"Terrible," Doom said looking at her up and down "You?"

"Not too great," She said shifting her position winched a little and said "Hey, can you do me a favor?"

"What?" Doom said standing up walking over to her.

"Can you bandage the cut on my back," She said "I fell on a piece of glass, when one of those idiots kicked me."

"Sure," Doom said tearing a piece of his cloak, before she took of her shirt and turned around.

It took everything in Doom not to stare at the tattoo on her shoulder blade, it was 2 black diamonds. When Doom got done, she turned around and said "Thanks pudding."

Doom who was starting to detest the nickname said "I have a name you know."

She raised an eyebrow and said "So do I, but you never asked for it."

"So what's yours?" Doom asked.

She smirked and said "You first."

"My name is Victor," Doom said extending his hand.

The woman shook it and said "Harleen Quinzel, but call me Harley."

"Ok, now that's out of the why," Doom said "How do you purpose we get out of here?"

Harley looked around and said "The bars of the window are rusty."

Doom looked at the bars and said "Erosion, these people are idiots."

After a good 30 minutes, Doom and Harley were along a deserted road barefoot thanks to Harley's escape plan…

"Well, that was quite an escape," Doom said.

"Are you kidding," Harley said grin breaking out on her face "That was the most fun I've had in a long time."

Doom smirked at her under his mask, before saying "But it would have been nice to keep my shoes."

Harley gave him a look and said "Hey I had to ditch my heels to get out, you…. I'm sure you can live without your boots for a while."

Then the pair spotted two cars coming in their direction…

"Looks like they came to pick me up," Harley said.

"Same here," Doom said.

Both cars stopped and two different agents held open the doors for their respected agents.

"I'll see you around," Harley getting into her car.

"You too," Doom said getting into his car.

The two went their separate ways, until the next time.

**_5…_**

Doom was seriously going to kill Sapphire, if he ever got out of…where was he now anyway? The last time he calculated he was at least 17 to 30 miles out of Moscow, he wasn't in the country side yet, but from the sounds coming outside, they were getting pretty close. Doom had been capture during a breaking, entering and retrieving mission, he was now in the back of an unknown truck with no idea of the destination. Doom was contemplating fighting the two armed guards, when he felt something slam into the side of truck effectively turning it on its side. Doom didn't know what was going on but he took advantage of the situation and disarmed his guards, before slamming his body against the doors and freeing himself only to keep his head low because of the gun fire. Doom was above to run when he heard a gun click to the temple of his mask, and a woman with a heavy Russian accent said "Not so fast Doctor."

Doom slowly put his chain hands up, and then the he heard a gunshot. When he turned around he saw the woman dead and a familiar blond hair with dyed ends.

"Hey pudding," Harley said twirling her gun on her finger "How's your mission going?"

"Better now that you're here," Doom said, and then he lifted his hand up and said "Got something for these?"

Harley cocked her head to one side and said "I don't have a key, but…" She then smashed the butt of her pistol on Doom's wrist cracking the material and Doom pried the chains off and said "Thanks, so how did you find me this time?"

"I saw you break into the building that got raided," Harley said "I was supposed to monitoring the activity, but I decide to go and get a sandwich; but I left my video camera on record in cased I missed something, and when I got back I replayed everything, before I tracked down the truck to come and get you."

"You left your post to get a sandwich?" Doom questioned not really caring about anything else she had just said.

"Yeah," Harley said "I still have half in the car if you want it?"

Doom thought about it for a millisecond before asking "Does it have Avocados and tomatoes?"

"Yes, with lettuce and bacon," Harley said smiling.

"Ok, I'll come with," Doom following her to her car.

Later Harley was on her computer with music blasting loudly in her ears, Doom wrote her a note thanking her for a rescue and sandwich, before he climbed out the window and went to the his vintage point for pick up. When Harley found the note later, she smirked and said to herself "Well played Victor, well played."

**_+1…_**

Doom was walking back to his locker at HQ when he accidently bumped into a person who was rounding the corner.

"Oh I'm sorry…" Doom started but stopped recognizing the person and said "Harley?"

"Victor?" Harley said "What are you doing here?"

"I work here," Doom said pointing to himself before asking "What are you doing here?"

"I work here too," Harley said a grin gracing her face "I guess that's why we've been bumping into each other so often."

Doom rolled his eyes and said "What a coincidence."

Harley just shrugged, the two then just stood there for a few quiet moments and then Doom said "So I was about to get some coffee, you want to join?"

"As a date?" Harley said raising one eyebrow smirking.

"No," Doom said crossing his arms over his chest "Just getting to know one another better as…friends."

Harley grinned and stuck out her hand and said "Deal!"

Doom shook it, and the two start walking toward the exit and Harley said "I have a feeling we're going to be best friends."

Doom scoffed and said "Don't push your luck."

*o*O*o*

While Harley and Doom were walking away, they walked right past Sapphire's glass window office. Sapphire watched them walk away and she heard he sister Topaz say "You know they're going to kill you when they figure out you purposely set them up on the same missions, right?"

"I know," Sapphire said turning towards her sister "But they will have a wonderful friendship."

Topaz rolled her eyes and said "Again they are going to kill you for play matchmaker."

Sapphire just smirked and watched the two teammates walk out her door.

*o*O*o*

**The end, THIS ONE SHOT TOOK ME WAY TO LONG! Any who review please.**

**Luv,**

**SuicideSquadGirl13**

**P.S want to hear one of my fanfics read dramatically, go watch The Chongo Show on youtube, here's a link; watch?v=53TEP3Pw7gU&list=PL-e7thQSJrqb2nAT7auepYLSkeZTzNVrW **


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